Family Name

This is the courthouse where I changed my name!

I’ve changed my last name to Wifey’s and Mister Finn’s, so that everyone in our little family has the same last name.

It was a really interesting process. We name-changers were banded together as a temporary community and shuffled through queues and official stamps and a hearing. There was a woman there with two men; they weren’t sure which one was the father of her baby. There was a tranny boy changing his name from Alissa.

Figuring out our family’s last name wasn’t totally straightforward because, well, we’re not straightforward. (ha! goodness). What’s a gay couple to do with the last name of their offspring? Well, for us the “traditional” model ended up making sense, with one parent giving birth and the other giving their name. We’re not big fans of the hyphenated name– they seem unruly with all their syllables (where do you draw the line? couldn’t you just keep stringing names together with hyphens forever?). Some last names can be combined gracefully into one new name (like Shelden + Harrington = Hayden), but such are not ours. We thought about taking an altogether new name but couldn’t arrive at one that didn’t feel random/forced. Probably the main reason we went with Wifey’s is that I love her name, rhythmically speaking. The way her first and last names go together has such zip. When I first met her I made up a song about her name that I still sing to her.

I will still use my own last name for my life in Artland. If I weren’t, I might feel more like I’m losing something. Rather, I feel like I’ve gained something: a name to mark my love and my life, the person I’ve become, the person I’ve chosen to love, and the person we made together. It feels good.