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Posts Tagged ‘Weissbluth’

We are trying Cry It Out presently, my stomach is in knots, the baby is screaming.  We’ve done our own version, “Fuss It Out,” many many times, which often concludes with A. joining us in our evening activities.  Other times, he fusses a little and then goes to sleep.  Lately we don’t know what to do.  He is clearly exhausted; fussing, rubbing his eyes; but erupting in protest when we put him to bed. He sounds like he is being tortured, and by extension, I feel tortured.  The alternative varies; some nights we take him out of bed and he is jolly until we all go to bed around 10:30; some nights he is over-tired-hyper-fussy and it seems just as wrong not to put him to bed as it does to do CIO.

Now sad, sad whimpering. 

I never thought I would do CIO.  I am torn.  I read Dr. Fears  Dr. Sears and come away with the feeling that if my baby cries at all or is not attached to me 24/7, I am an unfit mother (hmmm, that’s a post in itself, maybe for the Anger List category.)  Then on the other side is Weissbluth and Ferber, saying that sleep deprivation is borderline child abuse and you must sleep-train the infant over 4 months old.  Then there is the “No Cry Sleep Solution” by Elizabeth Pantley (I think that’s her name?) which reads like the  “No Sleep Solution” to me. Then there is the Baby Whisperer, who I think must have been high when she wrote her book. Charming, though. I can just picture her chirping in her British accent, “Now Johnny it is time to go to sleep! Night night!”  And then Johnny sleeps???  Just to be thorough, I tried that one too– rational explanation.  Which was met with laughing and kicking of legs. But actually, as I remember, she gave mixed messages to her desperate readers: On the one hand, she says to always go in and meet the child’s need if s/he is crying; then two pages later she says to never give in while sleep training. 

Now screaming. It’s been over an hour and a half. 

I worry about CIO being torture, inhumane, that it will cause emotional scarring. The Dr. Sears guilt trip goes far with me (as most guilt trips do). Though, in the end, his manipulative writing style makes me want to do the opposite of what he is telling me to do. It’s not even a “him,” it’s a “them”– a whole freaking band of Searses. That they could have 5 (10?) children and have them all become pediatricians is creepy. 

Whimpering. 

Part of the problem is our apartment. We live in an old elementary school that was converted into artist lofts, so we have one big open studio which we divided up with short walls. Read: no sound barrier.

Here we have the kitchen on the left and the nursery on the right. 

kitchen

nursery

 

So it’s not like we can close the door. Because there is no door.  

A.’s crib is underneath a bunk bed, which we put curtains around to make it somewhat dark. 

Screaming uncontrollably.  Stomach still in knots.  Bad. 

I’ve tried nursing him to sleep when he is overtired-hyper and it doesn’t work.  He is still wide awake and just as upset to be put in bed. I don’t know if co-sleeping would work for him, but we’ve decided we’re not up for it. I’m too paranoid that one of the many pillows I sleep with would smother him; that he’d get wedged in the headboard; suffocated in the comforter; whacked by an elbow in a soft spot in the head, etc. My imagination isn’t always pleasant company. We also like our bed and our time together in it. If our baby was in between us, our baby would be in between us. 

I wish we could just make up our minds about what we’re doing, so that I could stand behind that sleep theory with some conviction. Instead I feel like I’m not measuring up to any of them. And I feel like anything/everything I’m doing must be wrong.  

No screaming. Checked to make sure he is still breathing. Asleep. 

I hope my stomach can handle tomorrow night.

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